Vol. 24 number 10 December 2007 The newsletter of the Ottawa PC Users' Group Calendar OPCUG General Meeting National Museum of Science and Technology 1867 St. Laurent Blvd. Second (*third) Wednesday of each month, 7:30pm Dec 12 Harley Bloom of Bloom MicroTech Topic: Annual Christmas Gift Show Jan 09 TBA Feb 13 TBA Mar 12 TBA Apr 09 TBA May 14 TBA Jun 11 TBA + BBQ Beginner SIG After the OPCUG General Meeting, at the Museum. IT Pro SIG After the OPCUG General Meeting, at the Museum. Linux SIG After the OPCUG General Meeting, at the Museum. PIG (or Wing?) SIG, after all the other SIGs, at 10 p.m. Chances "R", 1365 Woodroffe (at Baseline), College Square Beer BOF (Wing SIG East, after all the SIGs, at 10 p.m. Liam Maguire's, St. Laurent at Innes Rd. (formerly Hooters) Please note that unless otherwise noted, SIGs meet at 9:00 p.m. (immediately following the OPCUG General Meeting). ____________________________ Merry Christmas to all our members! Coming Up.... Coming up, on December 12th, Harley Bloom will present his 9th annual Christmas gift show. Harley and some of his staff from Bloom MicroTech (http://www.bmtnet.com/) will be showing some of the computing gear that should be on your shopping list, ranging from stocking stuffers to full systems for home office or gaming. Always a really big hit, don't be surprised if Harley gives us a sneak preview of a few holiday specials. The date for the following speaker has not been determined, but he will present between January and June 2008. The date will be posted on the OPCUG website and in Ottawa PC News when it becomes known. Speaker: Andrew Clunis Topic: OLPC - the One Laptop Per Child Project ____________________________ December Raffle Thanks to the generosity of Microsoft Mindshare, we have a copy of Microsoft Digital Image Suite Anniversary Edition for the raffle. This easy-to-use photo editing software makes it a snap to quickly correct common image problems such as crooked pictures, lighting problems, skin blemishes, distracting objects or backgrounds, red eye, and much more. Digital Image also has enormous depth for those willing to roll up their sleeves and dive in. Digital Image Suite comes with Digital Image Library for organizing and cataloguing your images. Tickets for the raffle are $1 for one, $2 for three, or $5 for ten. ____________________________ November Prize Winners Our two prize winners from the November meeting were: Gail Eagen who won the copy of MS Publisher 2007 and Chris Taylor who won the copy of Microsoft Home Server. Thanks to Microsoft for the prizes. ____________________________ Workshop 2007 Summary The latest in the series of OPCUG's Beginners' Workshops was held on November 17th. The all-day event featured four separate topics: computer hardware, operating systems, open source software, and computer security. The first session, on computer hardware, was given by Vince Pizzamiglio who provided his thoughts on the future of personal computing. The world, according to Vince, is likely to be dominated by parallel processing - dual cores, quad cores, and perhaps even more cores. We will be using more memory and faster memory; have access to a range of convenient wireless devices; and look at bigger, widescreen, LCD monitors, using various flavours of digital signal inputs (DVI, HDMI and Display Port). Vince made special note of the tremendous increases in computer power in recent years, and the major reductions in costs of computer systems and components. He advised users not to wait for "something better tomorrow", noting that there will always be something new on the horizon. If you always wait, you will never buy, and never actually get to use that better mousetrap! For Vince, the complexity of technologies, the miniaturization of components and, in particular, the pricing structures for hardware as opposed to labour, make it preferable to replace rather than to repair. Similarly, his preferred update path is the purchase of a new machine - perhaps on as little as a three-year cycle! Alan German then provided an overview of two current operating systems - Vista and Linux. Vista has a shiny, new, user interface, but needs considerable CPU horsepower, available RAM, and a compatible video card to make it sing. There are a confusing number of different flavours of the software (Version Hell !) and any particular version comes at a not-insignificant cost. The Home Premium Edition seems to be the operating system of choice for new machines. Vista has some new features such as Windows Gallery (an image manager), a built-in desktop search engine (à la Google Desktop), and a rudimentary disk partition manager (a sort of watered-down Partition Magic). It also has some features that are available for use with Windows XP (e.g. Internet Explorer 7 and Windows Defender). The allegedly, intrusive security system - User Account Control (UAC) - was noted to be much less of a problem than reported and perhaps a necessary (or desirable) evil. Alan's bottom line for Vista? If it comes with a new machine, it's a very usable, and very pretty system, but there are no must-have features that would drive a user to purchase a copy as an upgrade from XP. Alan also tried to dispel some of the myths surrounding Linux, notably that it's hard to use and only suitable for geeks. Focusing on the Ubuntu distribution, Alan noted that this operating system was just as easy to install as Windows, and has a somewhat similar, but "cleaner" graphical interface, that is equally simple to use. In addition to a web browser (Firefox) and an E-mail program (Evolution) that are usually packaged with the operating system, Ubuntu's distro also provides the full OpenOffice.org office suite of programs (Writer, Calc, Impress, etc.). There is also a photo- manager, image editor, image viewer, movie and music players, a CD ripper and burner, a whole raft of games (including Sudoku), and many more other pieces of software that are installed together with the Linux operating system. One of the best features of modern Linux distros is the availability of a live-CD. With this CD, you can boot your machine into Linux without making any changes to the machine's hard disk. Try before you buy. And, if you do decide to buy, the best news of all is that Linux is free! Expanding on the topic of free software, in the next session, Don Chiasson discussed the basic concepts of open- source and how this evolved from the free-software movement. Open-source programs are available at no cost (as in "free beer"), but the free nature of the software is really free as in freedom - the freedom to modify the source code and the freedom to access the modifications. In particular, the terms of the GNU general public licensing scheme allow programmers to modify open-source code but require that all such changes be made public, thus ensuring the free nature of the software on an on-going basis. Don also demonstrated a number of his favourite free programs. He made particular note of the fact that, while open-source is associated with Linux, a large number of the software packages are also available for use on the Windows' platform. And, to underline this, all of his demonstrations were done using Windows, including OpenOffice, Firefox, FolderSync, WinDirStat, Audacity, and MP3BookHelper. His main advice on how to find good, open-source programs? "Google is your friend!" But, while being enthusiastic about many good open-source programs, Don also noted the downsides. Opens-source software is often developed by programmers as a challenge to their skill. This can result in some programs being abandoned while not quite complete, with missing functionality and/or inherent bugs. (But, the latter are also true of some commercial programs which are often released sooner than might be desirable in order to generate income for the company.) Open-source is free of cost, but not necessarily free of bugs. Programmers also like writing and testing code, not documentation, so the help files can be somewhat less than adequate. The final workshop session had Chris Taylor discussing security issues, and outlining the need for and functionality of anti-virus software, personal firewalls, patches to the operating system, and anti-spyware programs. Chris made special note that "It is far easier to keep your computer free of security problems than fix it after it has security problems!" He suggested that anti-virus programs should have at least a real-time scanning capability (check files as they are read from or written to disk), and preferably the ability to scan the computer's memory as some recent viruses are never written to disk. His advice on which package to use? Pick one - and keep it up to date. Chris noted that hardware routers generally provide very good inbound firewall protection, while software firewalls can be configured to check both inbound and outbound traffic. The latter might prove useful to identify if a machine is infected by some form of rogue program (a so-called "bot") that is trying to contact home base. In terms of keeping your operating system up to date with security patches, Chris suggested that Microsoft's automatic update service should be used at least in "notify" mode, and that periodic manual visits to the Windows Update site provide a useful double-check. For those nervous of allowing automatic updates, Chris asked: "Would you rather have Microsoft automatically install software on your computer, or have a cracker in eastern Europe do it?" He also noted the malicious nature of spyware, as opposed to the nuisance value of adware, and pointed to Spybot Search & Destroy and Ad-Aware as two programs that can be used to detect and remove both types of unwanted code. Chris ended with some amazing statistics, pulled from a security report published in October, 2007: - 94% of computer users have anti-virus software installed, but 48% of DAT files in use are more than one month out of date - 73% of users think they have a firewall; 64% have it enabled - 70% think they have anti-spyware; only 55% actually do - Only 22% of users have an anti-virus program updated within the last week, have enabled firewall, and are running anti-spyware software. Are you one of the other 78%?! If the answer to the last question was yes, or if any of the above information was news to you, you should have been at our workshop. In fact, you should have been there anyway. For $50.00, you would have received a one-year extension to your membership; a CD-ROM with all of the presentations, speakers' notes and associated reference material; a CD with a variety of free software; the promise of a CD with Ubuntu Linux (these are on order and won't be available until after the workshop); a catered lunch, plus coffee and cookie breaks; and a ticket to a draw for more than $2,000 worth of computer software and books. In fact, we had so many prizes that every registrant to the workshop went home with a prize ranging in value from $20 to $300. So, most people made money on this deal! (Maybe you should watch this space for next year's workshop!) We received some very favourable initial comments on the workshop, and are now in the process of analyzing the evaluation forms submitted by the attendees. We hope to be able to glean some ideas for a future workshop, and would very much like to extend this process to the general membership. Previous workshops have been aimed at beginners, or focused on specific topics of interest to more advanced computer users. What should we do for our next workshop? What topics would interest you, your family and friends sufficiently that you/they would attend our next event? Please give this some thought and send in your suggestions to workshop2007@@opcug.ca or speak to any member of OPCUG's board of directors. Finally, the workshop was a success because of the efforts of many members and the contributions of our sponsors. So, we would like to extend our grateful thanks to: Mark Cayer (registration desk), Don Chiasson (presenter, free software CD), Computer Supplyhouse (software), Jocelyn Doire (coffee, evaluation), Gail Eagen (registration desk, setup), Alan German (presenter, promotion, presentations CD), Bob Gowan (audio-visual, setup), Wayne Houston (accommodations, setup, Ubuntu CD), Glenn Lisle, Monitor Magazine (promotion), Brigitte Lord (catering), McAfee (software), Microsoft Mindshare (software, books), O'Reilly Media (books), Vince Pizzamiglio (presenter), Bert Schopf, Blackbird Communications (promotion), Chris Taylor (presenter, registration, CD duplication), and Ubuntu (software). ____________________________ Article A Fiasco With Backups by Chris Taylor I am glad I backup my computer. It wasn't many years ago that I just never bothered with backups. Backing up a computer was a pain. The software was awkward. Dealing with backup media was a pain. I had heard many horror stories when it came to restoring data. And I had never had a hard drive crash. So why bother with the hassle? A couple of weeks ago, I found out why it is worth the hassle. For the past couple of years, I have been using a backup system that is remarkably simple to use. The concept is an image backup of the entire disk drive, followed by daily incremental updates, all stored on an external USB disk drive. I use Acronis True Image (www.acronis.com) for the software. It is flexible, inexpensive and easy to use. I start with a complete image of my C partition; currently a 102GB partition with about 57GB used. I keep all my important data on the same partition. Most programs are installed to the C partition, with only a few, large, easily re-installed programs like Encarta and Streets & Trips installed to a different physical disk. All in all, a fairly simple and probably quite typical configuration. A complete image of my 57GB worth of data creates a single file of about 45GB. I schedule True Image to run nightly and create an incremental image, which contains all the changes since the previous image. Incremental images are typically between 500 MB and 2.5 GB. I have never figured out why the range is quite so high. I defrag my disks once a week (I should probably back this off to once a month). Since image backups see things as being "different" if files are moved around to different places on disk, the incremental image after defragging usually ends up being closer to 3 or 4 GB. All image files are stored on a 500GB external USB drive. Well it finally happened to me. I came into my computer room to find the screen on my laptop blank. It was not the screen saver. It was not hibernation mode. It was dead. Since the laptop was only 6 months old, there was no question about getting it fixed at no cost to me. And smugly knowing it was less than 24 hours since the last backup to that beautiful little external hard drive sitting beside the computer, I was not worried. I decided to be prudent, knowing that Murphy has a tendency to knock you flat on your butt if you are not paying attention. I plugged the external hard drive into my son's computer and used Acronis to verify the image set. A short while later, it happily reported that the image set was fine. Harald, a long-time friend and OPCUG member whose day job deals in computer forensics, came over. We opened up the laptop and plugged the drives into his computer. There was no problem with the drives. I copied a few very important files I had been working on to a USB key. Harald offered to image the drives, but knowing Acronis had verified my image backup set, I was not worried and declined. Little did I know that Murphy was tapping me on the shoulder right then. When I brought the laptop back to the store, I reported that I knew the drives were good and I really, really hoped they would not just wipe the hard drives and lay down a new, factory-fresh image, which would save me the trouble of restoring my image backup. The response? "It is good that you have a backup." Sigh... Two weeks later, the laptop was back. The only thing wrong was a bad memory module had been replaced. Oh, and I assume just to tick me off, they decided to waste their time and lay down a new, factory-fresh image on the C drive. Grrr... No problem, right? I had an image backup so I would lose less than a day's worth of changes. If you are trying to restore your operating system partition, you can't have Windows itself running. With True Image, you can create a bootable CD or DVD that can be used to do the restore. Acronis says if you can get Windows loaded, you are better off using the full version that runs in Windows to set up a restore. It then reboots into a mini- operating system and runs the restore. So I installed True Image and stepped through the wizard to point to my image set on the external hard drive and told it I wanted to restore the entire C partition. True Image then told me it had to reboot to complete the restore. Down went Windows, up came True Image. And then, about 1 minute later, the system rebooted into Windows. It was one of those "oh-oh" moments. There was no way it could possibly have restored the image that quickly. It hadn't. Murphy just smiled at me. I thought back to my decision to turn down Harald's offer to make an image of my drive for me... I decided to boot from the bootable True Image CD. I stepped through the restore wizard. When it got to the point where I told it the image set I wanted to restore, True Image reported that the image was corrupted. Murphy laughed hysterically. I felt bullets of sweat drip down my forehead. Let's see, about 16 GB of photos taken over the past 4 years, including the all-too-few photos of my late wife. Many years of emails - much of it dearly held communications with people I have loved and sometimes lost. All of that now only existed in that image set that True Image was telling me was useless. But I had verified the image set before sending the computer in for repair, so, without holding out a lot of hope, I plugged the external hard drive back into my son's computer. True Image opened the image set without any complaints. A sigh of relief from me. A groan from Murphy. Before going any further, I cleared a bunch of space on my son's computer (he didn't need so many MP3 and video files anyhow, right?) and using True Image, I pulled out the entire "Documents" and "Photos" folders structures from the image files. I glanced at Murphy. He looked a little worried, but he had a sly smile too, so I copied all those files to a set of 5 DVDs. Murphy cursed. I fired up a web browser and Googled for Acronis corrupted. It didn't take too many hits for me to find the answer. When running True Image from outside of Windows, as is necessary to restore the operating system partition, it has a problem with some USB chipsets. I guess my HP laptop fell into that category. Another hit gave me a possible - though ugly solution. Since most external USB drives are simply IDE drives with a converter from IDE to USB, someone suggested taking the enclosure apart and hooking the drive up on the computer's internal IDE connector. Murphy just laughed and asked if I really thought I could do that on my laptop. My laptop has twin 120GB drives. The second drive had nothing important on it, so I figured I could copy the image set to that drive (probably either an IDE or SATA interface) and run the restore from there. Only one problem - my image set was about 135GB worth of files. The way True Image works, you cannot restore from just one incremental image. You need the full image and a contiguous set of incrementals. If I followed this route, I didn't have room on the drive for the most recent 10 days worth of incrementals. Still, it would be much, much better than nothing. But I wasn't giving up just yet. Another Google hit gave me what I was looking for. True Image can not only load image sets from local drives, it can also load them across a network. Ah- ha! I smiled, perhaps for the first time in a few hours. I plugged the external drive back into my son's computer and shared it out. I fired up True Image and pointed across the network to the image set. This time True Image did not complain. Restoring across a network is not fast, but it was working! True Image first reported it was going to take two days to do the restore, but quickly adjusted that estimate downwards. Three and a half hours later, my laptop rebooted into my old familiar Windows. Everything was back! Murphy did his best imitation of Arnold as he departed saying, "I'll be back." My recommendations: - Get a program that does image backups. Make sure it can do incremental images and permit you to restore individual files or folders. You don't want to have to restore the entire drive to get a copy of a single file you need. I use True Image and, despite my recent difficulties, I am happy with it. Retail price for True Image v11 is $50. Click the "Promos" button on the OPCUG web site to see how user group members can get a copy for $29. - Don't let your image sets get too large. Remember that a restore needs a contiguous set of image files. A single corrupted incremental image means a restore is limited to what you had before that file. At least once a month, move your image set to a different folder and let True Image create a new full image. - Get an external hard drive with at least 500 GB capacity. For me, an image set covering a one month period is about 150 GB. I like to keep as many sets as possible so I have a few options in the event of a disaster and so I can recover individual files over several months. TigerDirect.ca has lots of 500 GB external hard drives at under $200. Or see your local computer store. I am currently drooling over a Comstar terabyte external drive for $300. - Test your restore procedures. Although I don't necessarily recommend doing a complete restore just to see if it works, if you can, do it! If not, at least test what you can. If I had tried verifying an image set after booting from the True Image bootable CD, I would have discovered the issue True Image has with my HP's USB chipsets. ____________________________ Article Upgrade Envy - Part 5 by Peter Hawkins Just to review for a moment, and not to lose focus on the reality of the situation here, I have spent $370 in my quest to respond in a fair and even- handed fashion to a psychological condition which I appear powerless to resist. I have succumbed to "Upgrade Envy" after years of believing that I was "cured"! Sadly the DSM-4 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders - 4th edition published in 1994) does not include any reference to UE, but those of us who suffer are moderately hopeful that it will be included in DSM-5 presently scheduled for a publication date in 2012. With the inclusion of UE I am hopeful that the stigma attached to this affliction will be much lessened for sufferers. But I digress... When last I wrote I was at the point of purchasing a conductive-ink pen to modify my Pentium D805 chip. The realization that by doing so would render whatever warranty Intel attached to my chip null and void. This further means that if I absolutely destroy the chip I have no legal recourse to Intel to claim reimbursement for a "defective" chip. That realization has caused me to delay my choice while I ponder what options remain that might let me get more performance from my system without yet committing myself to an irreversible course of action. I am sure that several of my more astute readers can already catch a glimpse of where I am headed, but I can assure you that while certain elements are quite obvious, others are not. The very first obvious thing to do would be to make sure that I could get the most "bang-for-my-buck" with what I presently have. This led me to simply defragment my hard drive. I already had the appropriate software - Norton Systemworks 2006, so I fired it up and let it diagnose my main drive. I said it that way so you would understand that someplace in the maze of "stuff" inside my box I have another tiny drive - just 13 gigs in size. I transferred it from my old computer about 4 years ago because it had all my data and programs etc. on it and it looked like a really easy way to transfer everything to my new box. (More on that later since it didn't quite work out that way!) Norton was more than willing to tell me that I had quite a bit of file fragmentation (more than 40% if I recall) and that it could clean everything up so it was neat, orderly, and much more efficient for my use. In addition it provided an attractive visual presentation of my data scattered all over Drive C as well as a quite solid looking block of data that was "Unmovable". I've trusted Norton for quite some time. It's been a reliable performer for me so I was certainly willing to let it have its way with my drive in return for these promised efficiencies. And so it did. It really did defrag my drive with one glaringly large exception - the Unmovable Data really was unmoved! I thought about this idea for quite some time...what kind of data would be unmovable? Of course the resource to consult was the Web. And after a bit of looking about, the unmovable data turns out to be the Windows Swap File. It of course is apparently tucked into the inside rings of my hard drive and is nowhere near as fast as it should be. This requires a bit of an explanation for some of you. A hard drive spins at the advertised speed only at the outside rim of the platens. The read-write heads pick up data fastest in this position, and progressively slower as they move inwards. Thus if you want Windows Swap File working as hard for you as it can, it needs to be as close to the outer edge as possible. Such was obviously not the case on my main drive. This is where my second drive comes into play. I discovered that after I transferred it to my new computer none of the programs worked. Well, they would work if I reinstalled them, but why bother to do that when they could go on the larger drive that came with my computer! Essentially the second drive was the data backup drive for my system, so I could use it (Of course that implies a reasonably systematic back-up regime faithfully followed, otherwise data will be lost!). There are really only 2 ways to partition a hard drive. First you may use the free utility "diskpart" thoughtfully provided by Microsoft within WindowsXP. Be aware that I haven't tried this method. If you want to look at it, go to Windows Help and Support from the Start button and then enter this phrase in the Search section: partition a hard drive. In past times I used the "fdisk: at the command prompt to partition drives. Please remember that this course of action will destroy all data on the drive, so backup everything you don't want to take a chance on losing before you begin. Otherwise you may fall into the category of "sadder but wiser" where you will at least have the pleasure of my company, and probably many others besides! The second method is a little bit more expensive but does a Non-destructive Partition which is just what the name implies. Needless to say, backup all the data you don't want to risk before doing this. The program I choose to use is called Partition Magic. I just happened to be cruising EBay looking to see what might be available, when lo-and-behold I spied a "triple-threat"! On offer, with a ridiculously low starting bid of just 99 cents was the magical triumvirate: Partition Magic, Ghost, and Norton Antivirus 2007. I reasoned that I was going to have to buy another year's subscription to the antivirus program anyway at a cost of about $35 or so with the net result that if the bidding didn't go over that, I'd end up with the other 2 programs for the cost of mailing them to me. That made pretty good sense to me so I started bidding. And for once, I actually stayed on plan, purchasing this trio of programs for $50 including the shipping and exchange. They were promptly mailed and I received them about 6 days after the bidding ended. I was now ready to begin partitioning my 2 drives with a view to increased efficiency and performance. Since I would have paid $35 for my antivirus anyway, I figure that I only spent an additional $15, bringing my upgrade expense to only $385. Next time I'll regale you with the application of my partitioning attempts. Before I forget, remind me about OCZ Gold. ____________________________ Humour Why We Love Children submitted by Sara Gelfand (author(s)/source unknown) A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil. "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. "You did WHAT?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move." A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later....."Da-ad...." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?" "No, You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad...." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??" I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!" Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad...." "WHAT!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?" An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'" One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy" It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron." When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower... She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?" A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four." One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not." A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?" A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake. The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie." She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too." ____________________________ OTTAWA PC NEWS Ottawa PC News is the newsletter of the Ottawa PC Users' Group (OPCUG), and is published monthly except in July and August. The opinions expressed in this newsletter may not necessarily represent the views of the club or its members. Member participation is encouraged! If you would like to contribute an article to Ottawa PC News, please submit it to the newsletter editor (contact info below). Deadline for submissions is three Saturdays before the General Meeting. Group meetings OPCUG normally meets on the second Wednesday in the month, except in July and August, at the National Museum of Science and Technology, 1867 St. Laurent Blvd, Ottawa. Meetings are 7:30-9:00 p.m. and Special Interest Groups go until 10 p.m. Fees: OPCUG annual membership: $25 per year. Mailing address: 3 Thatcher St., Nepean, Ontario, K2G 1S6 Web address: http://opcug.ca/ Bulletin Board - PUB II (BBS): http://opcug.ca/default.htm President and System Administrator: Chris Taylor, chris.taylor@@opcug.ca, 613 727-5453 Meeting Coordinator: Bob Gowan, bob.gowan@@opcug.ca Treasurer: Alan German, alan.german@@opcug.ca Secretary: Gail Eagan, gail.Eagan@@opcug.ca Membership Chairman: Mark Cayer, Mark.Cayer@@opcug.ca, 613 823-0354 Newsletter: Brigitte Lord, brigitte.lord@@opcug.ca Email: (Mr.)Jocelyn Doire, Jocelyn.Doire@@opcug.ca Public Relations: Morris Turpin, PR@@opcug.ca, 613 729-6955 Facilities: Bob Walker, 613 489-2084 Webmaster: Brigitte Lord, opcug-webmaster@@opcug.ca Privacy Director: Wayne Houston, privacy@@opcug.ca Director without portfolio Don Chiasson Beginners' SIG Coordinator: Chris Taylor, chris.taylor@@opcug.ca, 613 727-5453 IT Pro SIG: Harald Freise, ITProSIG@@opcug.ca Linux SIG: Don Chiasson Note: We added an extra "@" to the emails to reduce spam. (c) OPCUG 2007. Reprints permission is granted* to non- profit organizations, provided credits is given to the author and The Ottawa PC News. OPCUG request a copy of the newsletter in which reprints appear. *Permission is granted only for articles written by OPCUG members, and not copyrighted by the author. ____________________________ Newsletter by email: To receive the newsletter by e-mail, send a message to listserve@@opcug.ca with the plain text "subscribe NewsletterTXT" or "subscribe NewsletterPDF" (without quotes) in the body of the message. No subject line is required. Cancelling the Paper Newsletter: You can help the environment and save us some costs by sending an email to Mark.Cayer@@opcug.ca asking to cancel the delivery of the paper version of the newsletter (or ask him in person - Mark is usually at the back of the auditorium at General Meetings). Announcements Mailing List: To subscribe to the Announcements List send an email to listserve@@opcug.ca, leave the subject blank and in the body of the message put "subscribe announcements" (without the quotes). Within a couple of minutes you will receive a confirmation message from the list server. OPCUG clock/calendar/calculator and mug: Check out the clock/calendar/calculator and thermal coffee mug sporting our club logo at the back of the auditorium at General Meetings! OPCUG insulated mugs are $15 and OPCUG clocks are $20. Reuse, recycle: Bring your old computer books, software, hardware, and paraphernalia you want to GIVE AWAY to the general meetings, and leave them at the table near the auditorium's entrance. Please limit your magazines to publication dates of less than two years old. If you don't bring something, you may want to TAKE AWAY something of interest, so look in on this area. Any item left over at the end of the meeting will be sent to the... recycle bin.